How to transform stress into a healthy challenge

When we talk about stress, we often think about situations that agitate us. We are blocked, paralyzed, in pain, overwhelmed. It can also be silent and invisible. Yet, it causes lasting discomfort and health issues such as high blood pressure and head aches.

Stress is considered bad, especially when it has negative health effects. And even though some argue that a certain level of stress is good. I would rather say that a certain, manageable level of challenges. Is preferable.

 

But how do you change stress into manageable challenges?

 

Unsurprisingly, the steps I will recommend you take, are all related to your mind and your thinking.

 

It is something you have difficulty dealing with. Mostly because it feels like you have no control over the event that causes it.

You are stuck in a traffic jam and are going to be late.

You need to be a bill but lack the funds to pay.

You lost a loved one or are dealing with a break up.

You are terminally ill...

 

The examples are endless and can vary from life threatening to slightly annoying. A mosquito in the room, noisy neighbors or a leaking tap.

 

The element of no-control and the element of 'ít' forcing you to pay attention or 'it' being intrusive because of its inevitable nature, keeps your mind going at it.

 

 

What I am going to explain here is not a quick fix. It is based though on century old methods of changing the way we perceive things and react to it.

 

First and foremost. Most of us are programmed to see and feel things in a certain way. An innocent but omnipresent example to illustrate this is the weather.

 

It seems like there is always something we can complain about when we talk about the weather. Why is this a commonly accepted source of stress?

Because we have learned that rain is annoying, that wind is always against us and that the temperature is never quite right. 

 

In some countries and cultures this is viewed differently. The weather is considered to be part of nature. Something that nourishes, cleanses or cares. For others it is something you deal with. 

The Swedes say; "there is no bad weather, only bad clothing."

 

This is a simple and yet powerful approach to counter the feeling of the weather being something you cannot control and that is imposing itself on you.

The Swedes point to the fact that you can take control and deal with it.

 

So the first step towards dealing with stress is facing it with an approach that helps bringing it back, at least somewhat, within your control.

If you are severely stressed, this seems insurmountable. It is important though to take steps that give you at least a feeling of being back in the driver's seat.

 

Stress is caused also because we deal with fear. Fear of losing, not getting better, dying or being in pain.

You worry about the future 'outcome' and through this focus on what you already feel and notice today that confirms your fear.

This feeds your fear even more and a vicious circle of stress is created.

 

So what if you can stop worrying about the future outcome and curb fear partially or completely?

 

You have a financial problem. But what is your problem right now? Your immediate reaction is to say: I cannot pay my bills.

But that is a problem because you fear the situation and/or the reaction of people or institutions in the future.

 

Right now in this moment you are just here. The only thing you have is now.

If you could accept that you are all you need and already complete right now, you create space in your head.

 

From within that space you might want to think about what you can do to address something you are dealing with.

The weather, your breakup, your financials, a flat tire, whatever but NOT fearing the outcome, not dreading the action.

 

You transfer the presence and calm of being in the now to your actions. You act but you do not attach any value to the outcome.

The tiny secret is intention.

 

 

Not only better for yourself but in general. You act with compassion, rather than just for you and your own interest.

 

The other day I was busy preparing a package. I had sold a cardigan on Vinted. A friend noticed it and asked about it. When I explained that I had sold if for €2,50 she frowned and asked if it was was worth going through all the effort of taking picture, putting it online, handling the sales and then packing it and sending it out for such a low amount.

I had never even thought about it that way. For me it was a cardigan that was too big for me after losing weight. I like the idea of selling, or even giving, it to someone so that it is hopefully used and lasts longer.

 

The process of selling it is not an effort but something that I do because I am present with it.

At no point do I expect this to be 'successful' or providing me any satisfaction, other than that every step of the way I am fully in the process of selling it.

 

There is no stress, no wanting, no expecting, just the fact that a piece of clothing leaves my wardrobe and is moved to a different place.

 

There are certain potential 'fruits' in this action. Helping the planet by reusing that which is already produced. Creating space in my wardrobe is another.

Whatever it is, it might be there or it might not be.

 

My intent is to overall do something that has less impact on our environment. It causes less Karma and is more in line with Darma, or the The Way as it is called in the Tao Tse Ching.

 

And even that is only happening because I accept that this is a thing. And what if it turns out that there is no Karma, Darma or The Way? Even then to me, right now, in the present moment, this simple act is what I feel I want to do and thus do.

 

When you read this, I am sure you think this method is too simple.

Still the most important part of dealing with stress is to break it down into steps and actions that you can control.

To define those steps it helps, and I would say it is fundamentally important, to separate the potential future outcomes from the fear of not succeeding.

 

When you have financial troubles, focus on what you can do today to address it.

Talking to someone about what it is you can do or asking for help and ideas about what to do. Don't start complaining.

 

When you are late, let someone know. If you can't think about the worst thing that could happen and then accept that right now there is nothing you can do about it. Just sit in traffic or wait for the flight or train to depart.

 

Terminal illness is often viewed as the ultimate form of stress.

 

What you often see is that people who receive the news have real difficulty to come to terms with it.

More often than not, there is however a level of acceptance that sets in and I am sure if you had a case in among your family and friends, you have noticed profound changes.

Often people's ego burns away and a softer more gentle, more compassionate being, reveals itself.

 

It is this change in mindset that ironically can be applied to stress as well.

 

As Ram Dass jokingly cites is spook friend Emmanuel who says: Tell people that death is very safe.

 

There is a deep truth in that 'joke'.

 

Accepting that you die is accepting that 'this too shall pass'.

Exactly the same thing applies to events in our lives.

 

They shall pass.

 

Does that mean you have no free will over what you happens to you?

 

You do! But for that acceptance of the fact that life and all its events are ephemeral is essential.

With that you free your mind to be present and act with Darmic intention.

 

To close it off. The Way is not difficult for those who have no preferences.

 

This leaves room for intention and with that I leave you pondering about how you want to deal with stress.